The Barnyard

So my Clemson friend and I had lunch today (Maurices Piggie Park FWIW) and when he went to the bathroom I took his iPhone and put it in my car. It was a real tacky POS too. It had a camoflauge Otterbox on it with a Clemson paw sticker on the back. Can anyone explain why you would need your iPhone camoflauged??? I doubt a deer would even know what an iPhone looked like and why would you be talking on the phone while you were trying to shoot a deer? I don't hunt so maybe there is a reasonable explanation.
Anyhoo, when he came back from the restroom he didn't mention it and I got in my car and drove off. He called my phone about 15 minutes later from a weird number. He said he was on a pay phone and couldn't find his iPHone. I just said "LOL you are on a payphone? Know how I know you're poor?" THen I suggested he ask some of the methhead looking rednecks that were hangin around the PIggie Park if they stole it. He was real mad because it was an iPhone 5. I told him Droids were better and he hung up on me.
Things escalated quickly. THe guy showed up on my doorstep and I noticed he was holding an iPad. He had tracked the phone to my house using "FInd my iPHone" I walked into my backyard and heaved the phone onto my neighbors back porch. It was a long throw, but I've still got a rocket arm. Now the guy is standing at my neighbors house, they found the phone and the Clemson guy called the cops. I'm posting this from my basement, I'm staying here until this blows over. DOes anyone know if they can take fingerprints off a smashed iPHone?